I was very intrigued by what I read in Adel's post. For those of you who might be reading this and have not read Adel's, basically it's that some people (girls?) tend to neglect their friends when they have a boyfriend. Spend all their time with him, do lots and lots of things for him and talk about him all the time. Then, should there be a fight or a breakup, they expect the friend(s) they've neglected all this while to be there to pick up the pieces. Unfair?? YES. Unexpected? Not really. I have to admit that reading this made me think back to when I was accused of neglecting friends and family in favour of spending time with the boy. Of course I did and still do deny it. It seems like people tend to be more forgiving if you're spending all your time working or studying or kayaking (??) but not if you're enjoying the beginnings/ the best time of a relationship. But being told quite bluntly to my face that I was being a friend/family abandoning bitch made me re-think the whole situation. Even if I didn't think I was spending less time than usual with friends/family, they may have felt like I was. So I guess my point here is that there's a need for people to be more sensitive of other's feelings and not be completely lost in their own world, and definitely don't get defensive! Also, when you think of friends as the one's who will still be there after the storm, it's supposed to make you value them, not take them for granted, which is how some people seem to be misinterpreting it. Hmm...
Ok, now my turn to whinge about how I want to travel!!! I really really need a holiday. Going to Singapore didnt count because spending any time with my parents doesnt count as anything near relaxation! One of my friends is going to Italy on monday on exchange. Sigh. I want to go to Italy too!! But no money. Sigh. Hopefully N and I can work sth out and go away in Feb next year. Hmm...doesnt need to be overseas. But somewhere with a nice beach and lots of sun. Aaahh...
There's really nothing else even remotely interesting going on in my life. My days revolve around working and going to uni. *yawn* and when I'm not doing that, I'm at home trying to take things as slowly as possible. Hahaha, I feel so old!!
Friday, August 17, 2007
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2 comments:
hey neela,
apologies for this long overdue comment. i've been putting it off for ages because firstly, i've been pondering on how to address your questions and secondly, i've been too busy. >< workload's a total bitch.
that said, let's delve into the topic of religion.
so why do we believe in a God who is unseen and thought by some to be imaginery? it's a little bit difficult to explain, like how do you describe the colour pink to a blind person? i guess the easiest way of putting it is how do you know the wind exists when you can't see it? plain and simple.. you can feel it when it blows against you, and you can see its effects.
not everyone (christians included) is lucky enough to feel God's presence, but that doesn't mean He doesn't exist. it simply means we are not sensitive enough to Him. like how can some people tell when a particular person is upset and doesn't show it? but when He does make His presence known to you... it's pretty mindblowing. (i do agree that some people might think this is all in the mind and we're coming up with all these so called "feelings", but perhaps this is something i can explain to you better another time.) we can also see Him at work in our lives, and in the lives of others, just by prayer.
many people think that the bible is complete bullshit. they argue about its authencity, about whether its true meaning has been diluted through the centuries, about whether its essence has been lost in the countless language translations. and then people ask, "so how do you know what you are reading is not some creation conjured by man?"
well, let's face it. what is the failing of mankind? selfishness. the need to bury their wrongdoings and to paint the perfect picture of themselves. the want to be deemed perfect in the minds of others. so, if the bible were to have been written by man, it would not contain what it contains - the countless sins of men. their weaknesses. how they succumb to temptation. their acts of murder and adultery. for if the bible was to have been written by man, i'm sure they would have thought to blank those acts of wrongdoings out.
(like how one of Jesus's disciples told Jesus he loves Him, and Jesus backed away and said to the disciple, "get away from me you devil". if that was written by man, would he put such an embarrassing incident in there?)
there also have been findings to suggest that Jesus did indeed walk this planet (i'm not too sure what those findings are though.. but you can do a little bit more research if you are interested..), and increasingly, evidence and research points in the direction of the existence of God.
so that said.. perhaps i can move on to address the other areas you questioned.
the topic of homosexuality is a sensitive one, and something i've been thinking about myself. i attended this talk held by the christian union last week, titled "did God fail gays?" and it did a lot in answering my questions.
firstly, God does not condemn gays. why would He? He created them in the first place. and may i add that homosexuality is NOT a sin (this may be a surprise to some). on the contrary, homophobics ARE in fact, already sinning, because God clearly commanded we should love those around us like how He loves us. what makes homosexuality wrong is when gays engage in sexual relations. the bible clearly states that sex is made for marriage, and ANY form of sexual relations (even between a man and a woman) outside the context of marriage is a sin. in addition, if God intended marriage to be between two men, some argue that He would have created adam and steve, not adam and eve.
so why did God create gays to be the way they are? i don't know and i can't answer that question. all i can say is that He knows what is best for them and He knows His plans for them.
there have been christian gays who prayed about their sexuality and have been, miraculously, "converted" and are living lives with beautiful wivesnow. there have also been christian gays who commit to living a life of celibacy and to just serve God.
so you might ask, why not allow for gay marriages and just ensure they refrain from sex? this question was also posted to the speaker, and he said that there have been no gay couple to date who have refrained from sexual relations. *shrugs*
i can't say much for the christian group lobbying for the death penalty, but i certainly know God will not endorse it. (an incident in the bible - this group of men dragged a prostitute out infront of Jesus, told Him of her sins and asked for her to be stoned [like how the heck did they even know she was a prostitute if they didn't engage in her services?]. she didn't fight her fate, her head was down and she was silent in front of Jesus, clearly aware of her sins. Jesus then addressed the crowd, "for those who have not sinned, you can throw a stone at her." eventually, the crowd thinned and disappeared. Jesus then helped the woman to her feet and told her He would not condemn her and that her sins were forgiven, and that she should not sin again. i think this is the best example of how God wants christians to behave, but sadly, we can never seem to live up to that.) i understand why people are so skeptical of God and His love when they bear witness to the actions of so called christians around the world. it's sad, but people associate God's character with the character of humans.
perhaps if i put it this way: the church cannot be separated from God, because we are of one body. BUT, the identity of God should not be made in association with the church.
humans are weak, and we are prone to sin. more often than not, we rally for the wrong things, we bring war and unnecessary deaths onto others and ourselves, we are the cause of so much pain in this world. but just because we are such unloving, judging, condemning creatures doesn't mean God is the same.
the first and most important commandment in the bible: "love one another as I (God) have loved you". it's just that, as humans, we fail to love anyone but ourselves.
so how do we as christians know God loves us? that is because He sent His one and only son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for us.
have you heard of the story of the honorable judge? he's the best known in the state for his fairness and justice. one day, his son was brought before him, accused (and proven guilty) of commiting a crime. the judge was grieved, but he is fair and so, he doled out punishment. then, he took off his robe, walked down and said, "because i am just, i have to punish you. but because i love you, i will bear that punishment for you."
likewise, God can't forgive us for our sins without a price. hence, He paid the price. He sent Jesus to die for us. and so, whoever who believes and accepts Jesus is cleanse of sin and forgiven.
God isn't vengeful. it's just that as humans, we have failed Him and failed to show His love to those who doubt Him.
which then brings me back again to my faith. why do i believe and love Him? because He's a God who loves me so much He died for me so i wouldn't have to pay that price. because i know that without Him, i'd be nothing. because He's a God who is never-changing and faithful, who carries me through my circumstances and delivers me from them all. (and whose presence i feel even now, as i sit here and type this.)
i hope that gives you an insight of my christian faith and why christians (well, not those who lobby for the death penalty, at least) trust and love God. and i hope you don't think i am trying to force my opinions on you, because that was never my intention. :)
phew. i think my comment was perhaps longer than your blog entry. but i hope it helps in putting things into perspective. :)
love,
ting
Hey Ting, thanks for the comment. So I guess the point I was trying to get across but evidently not very well was more that what I dislike is how people use religion as a shield to hide behind while they further their own agendas. Be is pro-death penalty or anti-homosexuality. While I admit I still can't quite grasp how some people can so wholeheartedly believe in God, I don't have any problem with them doing so. Especially when their faith spurs them into unconditional goodwill and love, making their faith the means to an end that is beneficial to everyone. SImilarly if you did't believe in a God but simply believed in humanity and that spurred you into spreading unconditional goodwill etc. But its when religion is used as a means of rationalising, legitimising and propagating personal prejudices that I find distasteful.
I find the whole homosexuality issue particularly frustrating. Perhaps its because a number of my friends are gay.Why should someone else's sexuality be the business of anyone else? And I don't see anyone picketing college dorms as the "seed of corruption in our society". I'm sure there are homosexuals who don't engage in sex before marriage. Its likely that its because most couples don't abstain till marriage anyway and that any circumstances that enable a person to even come out as gay is likely to be tolerant enough to accept sex before marriage. Oh well, this is a debate that could go on for ages.
Anyway, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying its silly to believe in God, I just don't. And I'm not holding it against people who do. I just think people shouldnt hide behind religion to legitimise their prejudices. I think that's something we can both agree on. I think we can also both agree that most religions will evolve and adapt to changing societies, so who knows if this debate will even be relevant in 50 to 100 years!
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